It’s time to Feng Shui the Ecuadorian Embassy

I think it’s time that the supporters of Julian Assange and WikiLeaks resort to drastic measures to end the ongoing stalemate. It’s Christmas and a new year is stealthily approaching while Julian Assange has been locked inside an artificial equation for 8 years. What do I mean by “drastic?”

Well, I’m bipolar, so there’s that.

But what I really mean is: Let’s Feng Shui the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.

There is room to consider non traditional ‘tweaks‘ to the situation to at least make it a bit more bearable and to keep Assange and his supporters motivated and positive. All things considered, it took a great deal of stagnant negativity and sloppy behavior to derail the world’s media and the best efforts of many citizens and politicians to reach this level of dysfunction, so let’s do our best to remind each other at this time of year that we DO care for one another. And that sometimes, even if laughter seems like mockery or rudeness, it’s still a valuable medicine. Especially when we laugh at ourselves!

I’m going to write as if 90% of readers have at least heard of Feng Shui. There are two primary schools of thought and both use different “maps” called Bagua, to bring balance to the “Chi” of a building. And before I say it, or You say it, “Yes, the schools are divided by the geographical monikers East & West.” For the purpose of this article & the spirit it’s written in, let’s ALL try to limit the ideological FLOW of bullshit about political obstruction? Please? Focus!

  • Let’s place Feng Shui plants at the four corners of the block on which the embassy is located, at the embassy itself and within the room Julian occupies most. There are numerous reasons WHY this is done in Feng Shui and not all plants serve the same purpose. This is a small task but I am willing to wager that there are enough supporters in Greater London who would willingly purchase a plant for a given week and if the plant survives the winter cold, donate the plant to Kew Gardens or another worthy cause? In addition, a former researcher of water and spirituality, Masaru Emoto, has written extensively on what happens to water when exposed to ‘intention’ or for the more skeptical, human “phenomenology.” Why not find some grass roots style supporters of alternative therapies to keep an eye on the plants during the holiday season and record their observations? With flawed methodology being a significant factor in the Leveson Fake News Inquiry, it might be proactive for those in UK Alternative Health to discuss the merits of such a premise and it’s philosophical foundations at a grass roots level.
  • Julian now has to pay for embassy upkeep in lieu of real taxes! Why not have a look at the drains around his room(s) in the embassy? A popular idea to conserve wealth is using various naturally occurring ordinary rocks or tumbled gemstones, to block the sight of “open drains” in kitchens and bathrooms. Personally, I prefer a faux marble bowl from Target for my bathtub and use Citrine and Feldspar in my sinks.
  • Make sure no ‘corners’ are missing. I happen to be the oldest daughter in my family. Often if a corner that “represents” a family member is not “present” in the layout of a building, there may be struggles associated with the absence of this ideal figure. Corners that don’t fall naturally within a building’s layout can symbolically be “accounted for” with symbolic additions. Everything from literal “red tape,” an indoor fountain, or a cairn of stones can be used to effect a “cure” for “absent” support and to bring it into focus.
  • Julian needs his family and they need him. Romantically in Feng Shui, bedroom items should be displayed in pairs to promote harmony but in this case, family relationships are central and items displaying family unity, should be placed in the room at the embassy Julian uses most. However, if Julian is concerned about romantic fidelity while he’s otherwise occupied, he might want an Amethyst cluster. Amethyst alleviates heavy energy and negativity in the environment. A red string, tied around an Amethyst cluster, placed under the bed, and tied to the lower right leg of the bed, is alleged to ‘activate’ fidelity and keep wandering strangers out of personal relationships.
  • Natural light, fresh air and things typically associated with health are in short supply at the embassy. These are ALSO things integral to my own humble profession. Julian can’t get to Brighton or even a spa in London, but perhaps, a few well placed Feng Shui cures can keep that stale air moving. He’s not living in the tomb of Alexander the Great after all, no matter what some conspiracies suggest! This circles back to plants, and what plants are best for different situations. Given that so many people on both Sides & Hemispheres of the Atlantic pond are busily reliving and conducting a reexamination of The Red Scare, I do suggest a limit on red plants such as Poinsettias within Julian’s living space. All humor about deceased Generals & Sympathy for Devils aside, I also propose limits on purple orchids to no more than one. Trust an Alabama expatriate. I survived parents who escaped the faux Russian usurpation of both Red & White as emblems of Revolution, I was weaned on the Battle Cry of “Roll Tide” and carefully concealed my agrarian Auburn affiliation behind blue eyes and the orange glow afforded only by the most basic of tanning bed membership. I also know that the robes of some priests are Evergreen.

It may in fact, not be possible to Feng Shui the interior of Ecuador’s Embassy. But supporters CAN DO THE OUTSIDE JOB!

Thank you for your time and your consideration of this Christmas request for Peace. Be Well, One & All.

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